16 Things Adopting Parents Want An Expectant Mother Considering Adoption To Know

adopting-parentsAs adopting parents, we know this is a difficult time for you.

And while we don’t understand everything you’re going through, we do have a sense of some of the challenges you may be facing as you consider an adoption plan for your baby.

In many ways, we’re on the other side of the same coin.

Whereas you’re thinking of placing your baby for adoption, we would love nothing better than to adopt a baby through adoption.

And like you, we want only the best for your child.

So while it may seem strange to hear this from us, people you don’t know and have never met, we want you to know that we already love you and your child more than words can say.

Here are 16 other things that we, as hopeful adoptive parents, want you to know.

1. We can’t wait to meet you.

Really, we can’t. Adoption may be a new idea for you, but not for us. It’s been a journey that has been years in the making. We’ve gone through adoption education and preparation classes, and undergone a thorough screening process to get approved. If there’s one thing we know, it’s this: We couldn’t be more ready to adopt.

2. We’re excited about adopting.

It’s true, adoption may not have been our first choice initially. But the days of yearning for a child who would have our chin or the same eye color are long over. For us, pregnancy is no longer the goal. Parenting is. And adoption is the path we’ve chosen to get there.

3. We know you’re making your decision out of love.

We know that you’re about to make one of the toughest decisions of your life. We also know that you’re making it out of love for your child — to provide her with the future you want her to have but aren’t able to provide at this stage in your life. No matter where you are, you will always have a special place in our hearts and our home.

4. We will love your child as much as you do.

The fact that we won’t give birth to our child makes no difference to us. If you decide that we are the parents you’re looking for, we promise that we will love your child to the moon and back and shower him with all the love and affection we have to give. As you’ll find, we have a lot more in common than you may think.

5. We realize this is a scary time for you.

We know this experience must feel surreal at times, and that you’re worried about letting people down, starting with your child. But we also know that when the time comes, you’ll step up to the plate and make the right decision for you and him. And we’ll be there to back you every step of the way, whatever you decide to do.

6. We won’t judge you.

We know that if it were possible you would move heaven and earth to keep your baby and raise him yourself. We also know that contrary to what some people may think, you’re neither selfish nor taking the easy way out. Others may question you and your intentions, but we won’t.

7. We’re nervous too.

Although we’re excited about adopting, we don’t know where our journey will take us any more than you do. We worry that you won’t like us, that we’ll say the wrong thing or that we’ll do something that will mess up our chances of becoming parents. But we also know that together, with open minds and open hearts, we can work our way through this and come out stronger in the end.

8. We’re not perfect either.

Even though our profile may make us out to be the perfect family, we’re just as human as everyone else. We make mistakes and have our share of ups and downs, and we try to learn from them as best we can. To be honest, we won’t be perfect parents either. But we could be perfect for your child.

9. We know you’re not sure whether we’re the right family for you.

We know you’re worried that you might not find the right family for your child. Or that the family you do pick may not be everything you thought they would be. If you have questions about us, we’re happy to answer them. We want you to be as comfortable with us as we are with you.

10. We also have questions about the future.

We know you don’t have all the answers. We don’t, either. But by putting your child’s interests first, we’re confident that we’ll find common ground that will allow us to build a strong future together.

11. We want you to be a part of our lives.

For us, adoption is an ongoing process. If you choose us, our relationship with you won’t end the day when you place your child into our arms. It will still continue. We want you to be there as your child grows up so that you can see for yourself how much she is loved, cherished and cared for.

12. We’ll do your best to follow through on our promises.

We know it’s hard for you to put your faith in people who are complete strangers, especially when it involves someone as precious as your child. But rest assured that we will do everything we can to earn your trust and honor the commitments we make to you.

13. We won’t pressure you to make a decision.

We know that you can change your mind any time. And though it will be hard for us if you do, we will respect your decision. We won’t try to change your mind or force you to do anything against your will. We know that whatever you decide, it will made with your child’s best interests in mind.

14. Be gentle with us.

Like you, we’re still trying to get our heads around this thing called adoption. There’s a huge learning curve and just like you, we want to get it right. So if we call you a “birthmother” or refer to your baby as “our baby,” don’t judge us too harshly. We know there will be bumps along the road, and we’re just trying to do the best we can.

15. We understand that you will always be your child’s mother.

Although we may one day be honored to become your baby’s adoptive parents, please know that you will always be her mother and that we will always talk about you with love and respect.

16. We will never forget you or the difficult choice you’ve made.

Don’t think for a moment that we don’t understand the repercussions of your decision or the responsibility that you’ll entrust to us if you choose us as parents for your baby. Adopting your child will help us build our family. But we know that it will also result in a loss for you that will require grieving and healing.

We hope this gives you a better idea about our thoughts and feelings about adoption and the role that you would play in our life if you chose to place your baby with us. We know that you have some tough choices ahead as you try to make the best decision for you and your baby. May you find peace and contentment, whatever you decide to do.

As a hopeful adoptive parent, what do you want an expectant mother considering adoption to know? How have you communicated that in your parent profile or conversations? Share you comments in the section below.