This guest post is by Gina Crotts, a birthmother.
Almost 6,205 days have passed since I said goodbye to my first born. She will turn 17 years old in October and I hardly even know her.
Of those 6,000 days, I have questioned my decision to place her for adoption, probably 10,000 times over again…but I know it was MY decision.
Here are 5 reasons you should take your own advice on your unplanned pregnancy.
1. Your baby. Your decision.
No matter how you got to this point, you’re here, and it’s a huge crossroad in your life.
It’s also YOUR life, which means it’s your decision on where you go from here.
This baby is now your responsibility and with that comes the maturity of making some hard decisions.
Don’t be rash and make this a “quick” decision.
Your baby, your decision, also means your responsibility.
Take action and educate yourself on your options.
2. Trust your gut.
What I mean is, be mindful of how you feel.
When you take a gift to someone for no reason, how do you feel after?
Do you get that warm fuzzy feeling in your “gut” like you’ve done something beautiful?
When you’re about to do something you know you shouldn’t do, how do you feel?
Our actions and decisions produce energy and being mindful of that energy, positive or negative, can be a huge indicator on which path to take.
Listen to your gut and then trust the positive energy!
3. Pros & Cons.
Let’s say you’re thinking about placing your baby for adoption or raising your baby.
List one option at the top of a lined piece of paper, flip the paper over and list your other option.
For these options, you would put “Adoption” on one side and “Parent” on the other.
Now list every pro and con that you see in both situations.
What is a “pro” to placing your baby for adoption? What is a “con”?
Now step back and look at the list, which “pros” are benefiting you and which “pros” are benefiting your baby?
This is not a trick question. When you look at your list, which decision is the best for your baby?
This is where the responsibility part of your decision comes into play.
You can’t, selfishly, only think about you now, it’s you and your baby.
I’m not kidding! When you quiet your mind, you open yourself up to The Universe and the answers you desire.
I have learned many things about myself during meditation, one of them being my unknown desire to write a book.
Never meditated before?
Follow these simple instructions: Find a space where you won’t be interrupted.
Sit comfortably, with your legs crisscrossed or sit in a chair (I use my yoga mat).
Set a timer for 5 min (use your phone) and silence your phone.
Open your palms to the sky and place them on your knees.
Close your eyes and start counting your breaths going out. Only count up to 10 and then start again at 1.
When you feel a thought creep in say to yourself, “thinking” and then try to bring your thoughts back to your breath.
As you get more comfortable with your meditation practice, you can add a minute or two to your time.
Your goal should be 15 min of daily meditation.
5. Teach & Tell Your Story.
My unplanned pregnancy forced me to make a decision that has affected me for the rest of my life.
I have been harassed by people for choosing adoption.
I have questioned my own decision day after day.
I have a 17-year-old daughter, who I hardly know.
I have a 12-year-old daughter who would love to know her only half sister.
I am not only learning how to be a mother, but also a birth mother.
I know grief, I know heartache, I know wanting, but I also know all of it was my decision.
Make your decision, then teach those around you.
Share your story, share your struggles, be real and true to who you are.
Be proud of the decision you make!
This baby is now your responsibility and what you do from here forward is your choice.
Know your options, trust your gut, meditate, make your pros and cons list, and then educate those around you.
Gina Crotts is a birthmother. To read more about Gina and follow her adoption story, go to ginacrotts.com
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