This guest post is by Marcie, a hopeful adoptive mother.
A year ago this month, my husband, Jason, and I decided to adopt.
A few months earlier, we received the devastating news that our fifth and final IVF was not successful. It was such a painful time. And yet looking back on it now I wouldn’t change a thing.
Our infertility has made our relationship with the Lord stronger and our marriage rock solid. After taking time to grasp what we lost we asked ourselves, “now what?” We knew we would no longer pursue infertility treatments. I was worn out physically and emotionally, and I never wanted to give myself another shot.
So the question became: do we adopt or do we accept the fact that our family will be made up of just the two of us and our two dogs? Our desire to be parents had not gone away. We knew we could offer a child a loving home. So at the end of last April we made the decision to adopt.
Staying hopeful while hoping to adopt
Adoption was a daunting endeavor that required much research. But eventually we decided what agency to use and began the process. Our adoption journey over the past year has not been as smooth as we anticipated.
We experienced lost paperwork, financial obstacles (despite amazing fundraisers from our friends and church), advertising dilemmas, a failed match, an emotional adoption scam (thankfully we were able to recognize it as a scam before it got out of hand), and more.
It has been hard to stay hopeful. And yet, one day as I was thinking about everything we had gone through, I stumbled upon an article I wrote for our church’s monthly newsletter last year. It reminded me of how excited we were when we started our journey and how we need to stay hopeful because God does have a plan.
Here’s a copy of the letter I wrote about our adoption journey. Reading it now, it brings me encouragement and a renewed sense of hope. And, on those days when things aren’t going just right for you and you start questioning the purpose of your own journey, I hope that it will bring you solace and hope, too.
Expecting
I am an expectant mother. We are expectant parents. You would not know by looking at me. I am not pregnant. You would not know by seeing our nursery. It is just a spare room. But we are expecting.
As May approaches it makes me think of Mother’s Day. And for the first time in over three years I am not sad about that day. I am not trying to think of ways not to go to church or how to avoid the day altogether. I am not thinking that yes I have a mom, but I will never be one.
I am thinking that someday, Lord willing, I too will be included in Mother’s Day celebrations because, after all, I am an expectant mother.
Our journey towards expecting has been a long one. It has been filled with hopes and dreams, tears and sorrow. Our journey towards biological children has ended, but our journey towards expecting has just begun. Somewhere out there are birth parents making an extremely difficult decision–a decision that will forever change their lives, our lives, and the lives of their unborn baby.
We are praying for them and praying for our little one. As the adoption saying goes, “you did not grow under my heart, but in it.” We are eager for our miracle bundle of joy and look forward, with great anticipation, to the day he or she will join our family.
I am an expectant mother. We are expectant parents. I am glowing with excitement for what God has in store.
Marcie and her husband, Jason, live in the Chicago area and are hoping to build their family through open adoption. You can find out more about them at their blog, Jason and Marcie Hope to Adopt.
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Photo credit: Steve Garner32