To kick off the new year, we asked waiting adoptive parents last week about their hopes and dreams for the coming year. This week, we’re turning the spotlight on open adoption agencies. We’re asking: What’s the one piece of advice you would give couples and singles who are hoping to adopt this year?
Trust Your Gut
Trust yourselves! Adoptive families often feel like their specific adoption was meant to be. So, if it feels like your adoption may be taking a little longer than expected, trust that the right situation will come along, and if a situation arises that doesn’t sit well with you, trust your gut and turn it down: your child is out there.
Be Ready For The Call
I would tell waiting domestic adoptive parents to be ready for the call! Know how far they are willing to travel and to know their budget. They also need to be ready for the birth mom to change her mind about openness. If she has stated that she wanted the adoption to be closed and suddenly wants to meet–be ready! Lastly–hang in there! It will happen if you do!
Create An Engaging Parent Profile
We’ve found that the “personality” of their profile is their most valuable asset. Having an engaging profile makes a huge difference in how quickly families are matched. We recommend Adoption Profile Creations for a dynamic adoptive parent profile.
Begin Your Adoptive Parenting Education
This is not about you; this is about your children—what they have been through and lost and what they need from you (love, openness, empathy, understanding, and patience). Begin your proactive parenting education now, so that you have the tools to support your children as they navigate what it means to have been adopted.
Be Open To Various Adoption Situations
While it is difficult and stressful to not be in control while you are waiting to adopt, just know that the right child will come into your family at the right time. You need to be comfortable with your adoption criteria, but keep in mind that the more open you are to various situations, the more possibilities there are for you to be presented.
Try Other Adoption Agencies
Don’t be afraid to branch out from your agency and call others around the nation. Ask if you can send your profile with a cover letter of who you are and information on your agency. TAC is always looking for adoptive parents, being a new agency we have two waiting families. Very exciting. For International waiting families, hang in there, anything worth having is worth waiting for. Peace with your journey.
Linda Henning Gansler, Triad Adoption Consultants, Colorado Springs
Gather As Much Information As Possible
My advice for families is educate themselves as much as they can on adoption. Adoptive families need to be educated in order to empower themselves and feel good about their choices. Not every website, book, article, or adoption professional has all the information. It is in an adoptive family’s best interest to gather as much information as possible from different resources to make an informed descision on the path and the child they choose to adopt to have the best experience.
Mariann Arcari Rubin, Southwest Adoption Services, Mesa, Arizona
Use The Time To Learn About Adoption and Parenting
The healthiest way to be “ready and waiting” is to continue your adoption education as adoption is life-long and does not end with the placement of a child. There is so much to learn about adoption and parenting, so embrace the time.
Michele Fried, Adoption STAR Inc. Williamsville, New York
What do you think of these suggestions? What’s the one piece you would give couples and singles who are trying to adopt in 2012? Share you comments in the section below.