You’ve been trying to find a baby to adopt for months but nothing’s going your way.
Your adoption agency says it’s doing everything it can to help you find a birthmother match but things have been slow ever since Covid-19.
Your adoption consultant says she’s working hard but a match with an expectant mother takes time. Just be a bit more patient.
And you haven’t heard anything at all from your facilitator ever since you asked for your money back after she put in touch with a “pregnant woman” who happened to be scammer.
Meanwhile, every day on Instagram, new announcements (“Congratulations On Your Match Family P.!”) show up in your feed.
Why, you wonder, is everyone but me finding a match? What am I doing wrong–is there something wrong with me? What can I do to speed up the process and find a baby to adopt?
One online outreach tool you may be considering is an parent profiles website.
Parent profiles sites like America Adopts! help connect prospective adoptive parents with expectant parents considering adoption.
Adoption Profile Sites Can Help You Find A Match Faster And More Affordably
Maybe you’ve read or heard good things about them–about how they can help you find a match quicker, cheaper, and let you take charge of your journey.
Compared to some of the other options you’re looking at, a monthly subscription for an parent profiles site doesn’t cost a fortune. And judging by their success stories, they look like they work.
So what’s the harm in trying. Not give it a shot?
Some prospective parents wait years and spend thousands of dollars on advertising to make a connection.
A profiles site, by contrast, usually costs $50 a month or less. Parent profiles sites are the right option for a lot of people. But are they right for you?
To find out, ask yourself three questions:
- how long am I willing to wait?
- how much am I willing to spend?
- how much tolerance do I have for scammers and trolls?
1. How Long Am I Willing to Wait?
Most waiting parents sign with adoptive parent profiles sites because they’re in a rush to find a match and adopt a baby. Given all of the delays, frustration and red tape they’ve gone through to get to this point, you can’t blame them for feeling that way.
Adoption profile sites can shorten your wait. Many hopeful parents have found amazing matches soon after getting their profile posted.
We’ve had people find a match within hours of joining the site. But most matches take longer. And not all of them go the distance. Nine to 12 months is the figure that most sites use for wait times.
But joining a site doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find a match in that timeframe.
How Flexible You Are Will Affect Your Wait Time
The number of waiting parents outnumber the number of pregnant women who are interested in adoption. Not everyone who signs up will eventually find a match.
There are other factors take into consideration:
- how appealing is my profile?
- how flexible are I in regards to the child I’m looking to adopt?
- How much additional networking am I willing to do myself?
If your profile isn’t strong you could be waiting a long time. In the same way, if you have two boys and you’re only interested in adopting a girl, joining a profiles site may not shorten your wait.
How flexible you are to different races and medical conditions will also have an impact. The more specific your criteria is, the longer the wait.
Same thing goes for whether you’re willing to connect with someone early in her pregnancy (and run the risk of her changing her mind) or closer to her delivery day.
The More Hands-On You Are The Sooner You’ll Find A Match
One way to speed up your wait time is to be proactive. If you’re open to sharing your profile on other platforms including social media or advertise it with Google Adwords you could find a match sooner.
Other considerations that could affect your wait time include
- how many other couples are on the site?
- are the profiles rotated or do you eventually end up buried at the bottom of the page?
- what options do they offer to get more exposure?
A adoption profile site with more profiles means more couples to scroll through and choose from. For expectant parents who are desperate to find a family quickly and don’t have the time or patience to go through them one at a time, dealing with dozens and dozens of profiles could be overwhelming. Rather than get stressed out, they may just click on the first family they see or they may just leave.
Similarly, if they can’t find your profile because it’s hidden on page 3 your chances of success will be less. Alternatively, if it’s front and center on the home page, your chances of getting noticed and getting chosen will go up.
Keep in mind finding a match isn’t the end of the process. You still need to hire licensed experienced professionals to process your file and get the adoption finalized.
2. How Much Am I Willing To Spend?
Another reason waiting adoptive parents turn to self-matching profile sites is the cost. Joining one is a lot more economical–and easier– than building your own website from scratch. It’s also lot more affordable than going through an agency or a consultant.
Instead of paying thousands of dollars, you pay a fixed amount every month, And there are no long-term contacts. It’s usually pay as you go, cancel anytime.
That kind of flexibility can be appealing, especially when everyone wants to lock you into a longterm contract. Rather than make a long-term commitments, taking things one month at a time, and see what kind of results you get.
If you don’t get a match right away, don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with you or likely your profile. Most matches take many months or years. At some point, you need to decide how long you’re willing to stick it out and continue your subscription.
Choose A Profile Plan That Suits Your Needs And Budget
Every profile site has its own fee schedule. Some have one fixed fees, while others offer a variety of plans, depending on how much exposure you want. For instance, there may be one fee to get your profile on their inside pages and another one for exposure on the home page.
Compare the plans and choose the one that best suits your needs, budget and timeline. If it’s a busy site paying extra for the additional exposure may be worth it. Especially if the site has a large social media presence where you can expose your profile to an even larger audience.
Posting on one adoption profile site will instantly expand your reach. Posting it on two will expand it even more. So if you have the budget, you may want to consider signing up for more than one service.
No matter how you look at it, finding a match is a numbers game. The more people who see your profile, the more likely you’ll find a match. But at the end of the day, you don’t need to make ton of connections to find a baby. Just one. The right one.
3. How Much Tolerance Do I Have For Scammers And Trolls?
Joining a profile site will expose you to a wider pool of people than if you were trying for match on your own or through your adoption professions. But that can be a double edged sword.
On the one hand, it can put you in touch with expectant parents who would never have found you otherwise.
But it could also get noticed by people who are not pregnant or don’t have an adoption plan.
Adoption scammers, unfortunately, are a large part of the adoption matching process, online and off. If you’re working with an agency, you probably won’t hear too much about them as much because your specialists will vet your responses for you.
Most Scammers Are Out For Attention
But if you’re trying to adopt a baby on your own by posting your profile on a profiles site, you’ll be responsible for sifting through them yourself one by one to determine whether they’re legitimate.
Knowing how to spot a scam and protect yourself is key. That’s why you need to hire licensed experienced professionals to help you go through the leads and deal with the scammers.
Some adoption parent profiles sites offer safeguards to protect you. Evaluate how effective they are before joining because if a con artist wants to take advantage of you they’ll find a way. .
Most online scams don’t involve money. They’re about getting attention and taking control. The majority of scammers you run into online will vanish the moment you ask hard questions or get your professionals involved.
Others will stay on longer. For them it’s a game. They get a rise out of seeing you squirm. If you feel that someone is playing with your emotions or keeps changing their story, chances are you’ve hooked up with a scammer.
Don’t Take Negative Comments Personally
Trolls are another problem. Adoption may be a wonderful choice for many people, but not everyone has had a positive experience. There are many birthparents and adoptees who feel the process has failed them and they aren’t shy about letting others know.
Often referred to as “adoption haters” in chat groups, you may cross paths with them. “Adoption is coercion” or “if it was meant to be you would have had a child naturally by now” are typical messages you might receive from them. Don’t take them personally. It’s not about you. You’re not doing anything wrong. You just trying to grow your family through adoption. If you ignore them, eventually they’ll disappear.
If you’re looking to go the extra mile to find an adoption match or want to adopt faster and more affordably, parent profiles sites are one more tool you might want to add to your outreach arsenal.
If used carefully, they will enable you and the expectant parents you connect with to have more control over the process and to build a strong, healthy, child-centered relationship. Just don’t expect results overnight or that everyone who reaches out to you will have a real adoption plan.
Compare the benefits versus the risks and decide whether these kinds of services are right for you. Every year dozens of couples adopt a baby with the help of a self-matching adoption profile site. You can too.