How To Find A Birthmother Match Online

You’ve chosen your adoption path. You’ve completed your home study. And you’re created your parent profile.

Each day you’re one step closer to fulfilling your dream of adopting a baby. But you’re still not there yet.

They’re still one hurdle left: finding a match.

You still need to connect with a pregnant woman who is thinking of placing her baby for adoption.

Many refer to this part of the independent adoption process as “finding a birthmother match.


But a birthmother (a woman who has relinquished her baby) is different from the person you’re looking for (a woman who is considering relinquishing her baby).

So how do you find a match?

If you’re like hundreds of other hopeful families today, the first place you look is online.

After all, that’s often the first place that a pregnant woman will turn to if she’s looking for adoptive families for her child, especially now that COVID-19 has forced people to stay indoors and agencies to make alternative plans that may make it harder to for them to create matches.

Creating A Website Will Give You A Boost

Online is a big place so you need to narrow down your search. And of course, you also need to check that your state allows adoption advertising.

A great way to start is to create a personal website dedicated to your adopting plan. Automatically, you’ll have web exposure and a place where expectant parent could potentially find you wherever they are at any time of the day.

But without giving your website a boost to make it stand out, the chances of them coming across it are slim to none.

For you to show up at the top of Google search results organically (without advertising) is next to impossible; it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack multiplied by billions.

Every day thousands of new websites are added to Google, including dozens by prospective parents just like you. It takes years and lots of search engine optimization work for your website to rise to the top of its ranking system.

One option is to launch an ad campaign like Google Adwords that would target expecting parents looking at adoption and then link it back to your site.

But that can be expensive, especially if you don’t know what you’re doing. To be successful, you need to know which keywords to bid on and be able to craft a short, enticing message to drive expecting parents to your site.

Social Networking Is Another Way to Increase Your Visibility And Reach

If you don’t have the budget or the expertise to create your own ad campaign you could dive into some social media networks and link your website there.

They’re free and they will instantly connect you to a larger community. But to be effective and get noticed, you’re going to need to do more than just post messages like “if you’re pregnant and thinking of adoption or you know someone who’s thinking of adoption please contact us at this number.”

In order for your profile to get traction, you’ll need to post material on a regular basis that is of interest to women with an unplanned pregnancy who are looking at adoption and interact with other accounts by liking or commenting on their accounts—putting the “social” back in social media.

If you don’t have the time to update your social media account or the budget to create your own website, you might to consider joining an adoptive parent profile site like America Adopts!

After 10 years of search engine optimization work, we been able to gain a foothold in Google. That might have been how you found this article.

Adoption Profile Sites Can Do Your Web Outreach For You

With adoption profile websites, you can leverage the site’s presence on Google search results to your advantage. But before you jump in, make sure that you can find the site yourself when you plug in specific keywords related to your search.

It’s hard to know what keywords an expectant mother will use to find adoptive parents like you. It’s more of an art than a science. But chances are they will be a variation of either

  • giving up baby for adoption
  • put up baby for adoption
  • baby for adoption
  • adoption for my child
  • looking for someone to adopt my baby

Or, if they’re at a more advanced stage of their search and are more familiar with the more commonly used adoption search words they might type in

  • find adoptive parents
  • looking adoption parents for my baby
  • adoptive parent profiles
  • adoptive parent websites
  • adoption profiles website

Every adoption profiles site is different. Just like you, they’re looking for a way to set themselves apart. Take a look at what they offer. Sometimes they’ll say something that may sound good but isn’t meaningful.

For instance, if a site offers “the ability to make unlimited connections” ask yourself what does that mean? It sounds like you’ll be connecting with expectant parents left, right and center. But every adoption profiles site let you make unlimited connections so how different is this one?

Self-Matching Adoption Sites Can Help You Make A Connection Faster

Adoption profiles websites are a way to take more control over the matching process and potentially make a connection faster and easier, especially if you’re not working with an agency.

When doing your research, some of the things you may want to consider are

  • How many matches have the site had?
  • How long have they been in business?
  • How easy are they to find on Google?
  • How many couples do they have?
  • How easy is it to find a couple on the site?
  • How much does it cost and what do you get?

Not everyone who will be reaching out to you from an adoption profile site will be an expectant parent. You’ll need to vet the responses yourself and decide which responses are legitimate or promising and which ones are. Some of the people who contact you will be scammers so you’ll need to know how to protect yourself and to get your adoption specialists involved as quickly as possible in a situation.

If you jump in too quickly, it could cost you more than you bargained for both financially and emotionally.

Although it can be an effective way to start your family, self-matching online through independent adoption isn’t for everyone. And keep in mind that the expectant parents you do connect with are entitled to their counseling and legal advice.

Whether you’re you’re hoping to connect with them through a personal adoption website, social media or an adoption profiles website like America Adopts! here are some things that you’ll need to be and do.


Posting your profile online is only the first part of the networking process. You still need to find ways to optimize it in order to get noticed. When it comes to leveraging your profile online, the sky’s the limit. You can join discussion groups or write a guest blog. Or you can join other social networking sites or adoption profile websites. The more proactive and creative you are, the sooner you’ll find a match.


As mentioned earlier if you’re not working with an agency you’re going to have to do all of vetting yourself. That means sifting through all of the responses to your profile and knowing what questions to ask. Protecting yourself from scammers and trolls is key, but it can be tricky sometimes, especially if you let your guard down and dive into a situation too quickly.


Getting a match with a pregnant woman is a journey that involves all kinds of unpredictable twists and turns. One day you’ll think you’ve made a connection and the next day it will vanish into thin air. Being able to pick yourself up and move on to the next stage is essential if you want to be successful. Adoption is full of highs and lows. Being able to pivot to a new plan and stay upbeat and positive will serve you in the long run.


Matches don’t come overnight. You’ve probably heard that before. But hearing it and living it are two different things. Be hopeful about finding one quickly but be prepared to wait it out. Most matches take up to a year or more to find. In the meantime, keep yourself busy and educate yourself about the process. Learn more about openness, open adoption, and the post-placement relationship you want to have with your child’s birthparent.


The internet is simply a tool that’s only as good as the people on it. In your self-matching journey, you’’ll meet some of the nicest people in the world. But you’ll also meet people who will try to take advantage of your situation and try to scam or attack you. Move slowly and carefully to avoid the pitfalls along the way. As tempting as it is, don’t jump into a situation feet first until you’ve done your due diligence and run it by your support team or adoption specialists.

Finding a match online by yourself is one of the most challenges part of the independent adoption process. But if you do you homework and go into it with your eyes open, you could potentially get matched sooner than going through an agency and one that is right for you..

Learn more about our adoption profile plans or contact us for more information.