Motherhood has always been one of my biggest dreams in life. I am the oldest of five children and loved helping take care of my younger siblings. My Mom and Dad have videos of me when I was 6 years old doing ‘how to’ lessons on how to change my baby sister’s diaper.
When I was 11 years old, I loved helping my Mom take care of my baby brother and sister, who are twins, while my Dad was at work. I would always be playing and taking care of my baby dolls and I loved getting to babysit people in the neighborhood.
Motherhood was in my blood and I always looked forward to the day when I would have a family of my own, with dreams of my loving husband and lots of kids to fill up our house.
Unfortunately, all of those dreams were put to a halt when at 19 years old, a doctor told me I that I would never be able to have a child of my own. My heart was crushed.
The tears were pouring down my face and all of those hopes and dreams seemed like they would never happen. I couldn’t believe that one of my biggest dreams in life was being taken away from me at such a young age.
Thanks to the love and support of many family members, friends, doctors, and more, I knew I could not give up on my dream. So I went to many doctors, knowing that medicine was always changing and we never know what the future can hold.
I knew I would be a mother somehow, and it could be through pregnancy or adoption, because the most important thing was being able to love a child who would capture my whole world and heart. From this early age, I realized that it was love that would make my family.
Faith has always been a huge part of my life, and I knew that God was guiding me down a path. I just had to trust Him and His plan. Fast forward a few years later when I met Mike, the love of my life, my best friend, and one piece of my incomplete puzzle.
We connected right away and knew we’d be together forever. He made me feel so loved, so safe, so happy, and full of life. We both supported each other and knew we would be there for one another no matter what.
We Had Always Talked About Adoption
He had the same thoughts about family and wanting to be a father that I had, and even though he knew the journey might not be easy, he knew it would be worth it and was so optimistic, as he is about everything.
Boy, was he right! As soon as we got married, we decided to first pursue fertility treatments. We had many, many disappointments and heartache along the way, but we were finally blessed with the news that we were expecting our little miracle almost 5 years ago.
It was such an emotional experience. And imagine that doctor telling me years ago I would never have a child? Our son is the light of our world and makes us so very happy. We love his huge heart, big smile, loving & inquisitive nature, and everything else possible.
Even with all of this love, we knew our journey was not complete. We tried a few more cycles, and had more disappointments & heartache, but we are forever grateful for our miracle. We always talked about adoption since we started dating and we both said we cannot continue on the fertility path anymore.
We truly believed that God was guiding us down a different path, one that will still bring about our dream of a big family and still allow us to be “Mommy” and “Daddy” once again.
As the oldest of five siblings, I know how special the sibling bond is and we want nothing more than our son to experience those same joys.
We moved full steam ahead with the adoption process, once again putting our full faith and trust in God that this is what we are meant to do. We know there are plenty of children who need homes and we will give them unconditional love and a loving, faith filled, fun, happy home.
Originally, we didn’t realize how there were so many options with open, semi-open, and closed adoptions. At first, we didn’t know what was best for us or for our future child. We want to respect the wishes of our child’s birthmother, and do what is best for our child.
Open Adoption Is A Loving Option
As we prayed and talked about things more and more and heard experiences from the wonderful members of our adoption support group, we realized that our hearts were open to all adoption paths but that open adoption was a great option because we were truly opening our hearts to as much love as possible. We also realized that this process was bigger than ourselves – it is all about the child.
We want our child to have as much love as possible and know that his or her birthmother and family made the most loving, giving decision there was to provide him or her with the best life possible. We want to honor that decision and let our child know that we are forever thankful, grateful, and blessed that his or her birthmother made this act of love.
We will love this child forever. He or she may have never grown in my belly, but will have our whole heart and soul. He or she has been wanted forever and we will always let this precious baby know this.
While we are still waiting for the stars to align and make that perfect match with a beautiful family who will share their most precious gift with us, we will continue to pray, hope, and cherish every moment with our son, family, and friends.
And when that wonderful connection is made, we know that all of the puzzle pieces that have been scattered throughout our life so far will fit together and our family will be complete. Then the real journey of enjoying the fruits of our love will continue forever and ever.
Jennifer and Michael are a happily married couple living on Long Island, NY with their 4-year-old son. Michael works in Human Resources at a hospital in the city and Jennifer is a former elementary school teacher and currently a stay-at-home mom to their son. They cannot wait to be blessed by the gift of adoption. Learn more about them here.
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