Looking Back At My Open Adoption Placement 5 Years Later

This guest post is by Alice, a birthmother.

After two weeks of knowing I was pregnant with someone I wasn’t going to see again I poured myself into reading about families who wanted to adopt.

I was curious about adoption. There were so many profiles that I read, so many people wanting to give their love.

I was searching for something…a connection. I kept seeing my unborn baby as someone’s sibling and then when I found out his gender, as someone’s brother.

When you know, you know and when I chose the C family, I knew. I chose a family without any other children.

I felt he belonged in this family so strongly and that is another story on its own. Simply, for us, it was meant to be.

I crossed my fingers and toes that someday he would get siblings and so did his parents and soon he was praying for siblings. 

I honest to goodness forget about how hard it was that first year. After talking with other birth moms, attending a birthmom/single mothers group weekly and having Charity, my counselor at the time, I made a goal to feel everything.

That first year was woah! Grief was real and it was so hard on my end. I wanted to be married but I was single.

My body ached to be with baby boy but my heart and soul knew he belonged with the C family. I blogged and blogged without reservation.

Being lovingly open was the key to the relationship we have 5 years later. With open adoption it has blessed not only my life in dealing with grief and being surrounded with love but it has also blessed Ander, my son who was adopted.

To say we have the best adoption story is an understatement! It is unbelievable and I credit most of that to Ander’s mother.

Her philosophy is the more people to love and support a child the better. Five years later we are seeing so many fruits of the love seeds we have planted and watched grow and grow. 

One of the blessings we have is Ander is a brother to his half brother and sister instead of being an only child. He is connected to us.

He is the sweetest brother and so good to his half siblings. He has come over with his mom to babysit and my kids just love it when he comes over or we go to his house.

A few weeks ago we chopped our two year old son’s hair and immediately my husband said he looked like Ander. We see resemblances between these cute siblings and the connection is there, which is great. 

For us open adoption has been wonderful.  We have overcome insecurities, grief, death and hardships. We are blessed to have one another to lean on.

Alice is the pen name of a birth mom to a beautiful boy. Alice is now married to her soulmate and they have two precious babies together. She enjoys traveling, decorating, and pedicures.

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