To The Expectant Mother Who Chose Me To Adopt Her Baby, After Her Miscarriage

This guest post is by Nicole, a hopeful adoptive parent.

Dearest K,

We’ve spent the last six weeks getting to know each other. Even though you were early in your pregnancy I never doubted your commitment for this open adoption.

I loved our conversations and the pictures we exchanged in anticipation for what was next.

The long and short conversations we’d have every day, I’ll miss those.

I could feel the excitement even through email as our trip to meet and match was getting closer. You are bright, beautiful, and one of the sweetest people I’ve had the privilege to “meet.”

Today, everything would change. I’ve been dreading that phone call.

I was hoping it would never come to pass but it remained in my mind since you first told me. I know how upset you are about this for us and we feel the same for you.

Today my heart breaks. It breaks for you, us and what could have been.

It breaks because I can’t be there for you as you go through this. It breaks because I knew when I woke this morning that something must be wrong because you hadn’t responded and that isn’t like you.

I wish I could call you and let you know it’s going to be ok and how sorry we are. We wanted nothing more than to include you in our lives but what’s important now is you.

Please know it isn’t anyone’s fault, nothing could have been done. I know how strong you are and you will get through it, just as we will but know this I will miss you!

Please know if you need to talk I’m still here for you.



Nicole and her husband, Don, are waiting to complete their family through open adoption. They’ve been married for 18 years and counting, are animal lovers and can’t wait to share their lives with a child. To find out more about them check out their blog or their adoption profile

A version of this post originally appeared on Random Thoughts And Happenings On Our Way to Becoming Parents Through Adoption.  

Do you have an open adoption story? Share it with our community

Help us raise awareness about open adoption. Like us on Facebook.