Waiting To Adopt? Inspirational Advice From Someone Who Was Once In Your Shoes

This post is by Angela Boucher, an adoptive mother. 

My name is Angela and I am an adoption and infertility advocate. I have a deep and personal connection to both of the topics.

On my journey to motherhood I battled years of infertility, five failed IVF‘s and also a failed donor egg cycle. In the end, it lead my husband and me to adoption.

I have to be honest: Adoption was not my very first choice.  I had always envisioned myself as a mom but not necessarily an adoptive mother.

I saw myself getting pregnant and carrying a child of my own. Over time and with much heartache I came to realize what mattered most to me was motherhood and not necessarily pregnancy.

After all, a woman is pregnant for nine months but motherhood lasts a lifetime.  And so I started to travel down the next path in my journey that path was the path to adoption.

It was paved with an idea that I would become a mother if I persisted and waited. It was no longer question of if but of when. And so I did just that.

The time when we were matched with an expectant mother until the time our son was born was only a few months.

I will never forget the day my son was born. There was another woman across the hall and in labor at the same time our birth mother was.

Her room was full of family and friends they brought balloons, they brought flowers, there was lots of laughter and joy.

Across the hall where we waited for son to be born it was quiet. There was little to no laughter but there was lots of love.

After a few weeks we were able to bring our son home. It was one of the most amazing days in my life.

I will never forget driving up our street: There were balloons, flowers and lots of laughter and joy. It was everything we had longed and prayed for.

To this day there is one statement that always bothers me when speaking about adoption and my son. That statement is how your son is so lucky!

I have to be honest I truly hate when people tell me that my son is lucky. That is a misconception about someone who has experienced firsthand the darkness of infertility and years of believing that she would never be able to become a mother.

I know deep down in my soul that I’m the lucky one! When your dreams are fulfilled after sitting powerless in the darkness you learn to appreciate the light. 

That darkness has taught so many of us mothers and fathers how lucky we are to be parents via adoption. My son is truly my greatest achievement.

He has taught me to be relentless, to never give up on my dreams and that one day, one way or another, dreams can and do come true .

So if you’re one those people sitting, waiting, and praying in that darkness, don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. 

One day you will be the lucky one because you will know that you have been blessed. Because adopting a child isn’t about luck as much as it is about persistence and faith.

Angela Boucher is an adoptive mother.

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