Waiting To Adopt: What We Wish We Knew Before We Started The Adoption Process

This is part of our check-in with our hopeful adoptive parents to learn more about their adoption journeys and share their thoughts about topics of interest to the adopting community.

Adopting a baby is a journey. And as in any journey, there are all kinds of highs and lows, unknowns and uncertainties.

Perhaps the biggest one of all is the wait time—how long it takes to find a match and eventually, a placement.

This week we asked some hopeful parents on our site about their experiences—specifically, what they wished they knew about waiting before they started the adoption process.

Here’s what they had to say.



Our hearts are so open to the love that adoption will bring our family and making it complete, but we wish we knew how emotional the waiting journey would be. We started off the journey so excited and full of hope, but it is so hard when you meet disappointments along the way and you just want to find that missing piece to your family’s puzzle to give our son a sibling or siblings, become parents once again, & give unconditional love to our child in waiting. We also can’t wait to form a bond with a birthmother or birth parents so our future child knows he or she is surrounded by the love of so many people. In the meantime, we are leaning on the love and support of those who have adopted before and can provide insight, staying hopeful, and are trusting the journey to know that life is leading us exactly to where we are meant to be!
Jen and Mike


We feel so fortunate that our team prepared us very thoroughly for what our journey might potentially look like. The things we wish we had known, however, are unfortunately the sort that aren’t knowable until you’re neck deep in the process. We’ve gotten very emotionally attached to a few expectant mothers only to have the adoptions fall through, for example; and we’ve had to learn how to balance our desire to be available at all times to some of these women with our own emotional needs. Now armed with experience, though, we feel increasingly confident in our abilities to navigate what is ultimately a very fraught journey.
Nina and Galen


I wish we would have known that the wait was important for our growth and knowledge about adoption. We thought we were ready for our baby the first day active but are so glad we’ve had a wait where we have spent time listening to stories from all parts of the triad which has evolved our perspective which will help us be the best adoptive parents to our future child.

Rachel and Josh


This adoption process has been quite the waiting game as we have been waiting for over 2 years for a child to come into our lives. We are not giving up hope as we know there is a child out there for our family! However, it sure would be nice to know how much longer we have to wait. We just also keep reminding ourselves God’s timing is perfect and He has a plan.
Clairessa and Brandon


Our first adoption went through quickly and easily; there was barely any wait. This time is much different… we realize every adoption journey is different and it’s so important to give yourself grace, credit, and patience. We have all the confidence that our right match will find us one day!
Jennifer and Alston


I wish I knew how painful it is to wait. It’s an emotional roller coaster. People have said don’t stop living your life while you wait for a match.  That’s easier said than done. You will always have that in the back of your mind while you are living life.
Emily and Chris


Something we do while on our hopeful and exciting adoption journey is send out daily thoughts of incredible love and support towards our birth mother, wherever she may be. It’s truly incredible to know she is out there and perhaps even looking for us at this very moment! She may be nearby or perhaps far away, but either way she is going to be part of our lives soon and her child will always be part of hers. So we lift her up today and everyday.
Eric and Justin


We wish we would have known how long and difficult the waiting time could be. However, we fully trust God and know His timing is perfect. We try to make the most of our time with our hobbies, preparing the nursery, reading books, taking parenting/adoption classes, etc.
Rachelle and Eric

What do you wish you knew before you started the adoption process or do you have a story you’d like to share? Let us know here. Want to spread the word about your adoption journey and join our conversation? Learn more here.