What’s The Best Adoption Advice You’ve Received And Other Answers To Your Adopting Questions

What’s the best adoption advice you’ve received? If you could change one thing about your journey, what would it be? What do you know about adoption now that you wish you had known before?

These are just some of the questions we asked prospective adoptive parents, families who have adopted or have placed a baby for adoption, and adoptees as part of a series our sister site runs every year during National Adoption Month called “30 Questions, 30 Days.” Here’s a small sampling of a few of the answers we received on its Facebook page to these questions and others about how adoption has touched people’s lives.

What does adoption mean to you?
It’s about reconnecting with a brother I never knew I had, and has been wonderful ever since 🙂 …and finally having a family of our own. Valerie Misko Bielenda

Who or what had the biggest impact on your adoption journey?
I would have to say my community. We come from a small community and they embraced my children, all three of them, from day one. The support has been and continues to be amazing even 5 years later! Mickie McDow

What are some of the things you did to educate yourself about adoption?
Read, researched, attended as many seminars and info sessions and conferences we could. We reached out to adoptive parents and most importantly adoptees. Adoptees have taught us so much during our adoption journey. Stacy Kennedy Marambio

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received about adoption?
Go easy on yourself, allow yourself grace when you feel that you are not handling things gracefully. Jennifer Gervais Reid

What was the biggest surprise or breakthrough in your adoption journey?
That I could handle so much more than I ever realized. Michelle Parker

What are some of the things you’re doing to cope with the wait?
Can we go with “wish I did”?? Declutter!!! You will be amazed at the amount of stuff that comes with children. Think about practical things, boots at the door, recycling etc. There will be more of it!!! Mickie McDow

If you could change one thing about adoption or your adoption journey, what would it be?
I would spend more time discussing openness, what it means the value of it, the negatives to it, and make sure, double sure, triple sure that adoptive parents and I were talking the same language. but I trusted, and believed all people who wanted to adopt must be open, accepting of people of all different walks of life. Amber Scott

What do you know about adoption now that you wish you had known before?
That for all our joy, someone’s heart is breaking. Birth parents for whatever reason, cannot care for this child but they still love them. We have a picture of my hubby and I meeting our daughter for the first time. Off to the side is the birth mom with such a sad look on her face. It brings me to tears whenever I see that picture. Bryanne Lavoie

What were some the biggest adjustments you had to make after your child’s adoption?
Just getting used to the idea of a baby in the house, you dream about it for so long, and not being pregnant yourself you don’t have the 9 months to prepare, and it was great, but it was an adjustment, because all of a sudden they were just there! Kelly Ferreira Nee Galloway

How do you want your child to view his or her adoption and what are some of the things you’re doing to make it happen?
We want our son to grow up know that adoption is a gift of love and not a label. It is another way that families grow. We want him to grow up confident that adoption is a positive thing. Heather Skuja

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of adoption?
Sadness and joy. Janice Cassell-Ballinger

What do you think is the most important adoption issue today?
Trans and gender queer people need to feel that they are able to adopt – this is from our new report on trans parenting. In our research, nobody had pursued adoption or even seriously considered it because they felt that they wouldn’t be approved. LGBTQ Parenting Network

What’s the one piece of advice you would give someone who’s considering adoption today?
For Adoptive Parents: Think a lot about what you really believe about open adoption, and make sure you are able to communicate that with any perspective birthmom, so that expectations on the level of openness are clear… For Birthmom: Make sure that you know that openness doesnt take away the pain, there will still be loss. Lois Billingham Currie

What’s the one thing you want people to know about adoption?
It’s an emotional roller coaster with the most amazing reward at the end. Hang on tight; it’s truly well worth it. Kelly Berentsen-Urry

Now it’s your turn: How did you educate yourself about adoption? What are some of the things you’re doing to cope with the wait? Who or what had the biggest impact on your adoption journey? Leave your comments in the section below.