I Worried My Daughter’s Adoptive Parents Would Shut Me Out After Her Adoption. Here’s What Really Happened

This guest post is by Mercy, a birthmother.

Five and half years ago, we placed a very special little girl up for adoption to an amazing couple in the hopes of growing our family through open adoption.

Little did we know that our lives would change in such an amazing way.

August 19, 2013 we welcomed a very special bundle of joy into the world.  Harper was born and we were all overjoyed and had mixed emotions on the following events.

Looking back, the emotions and uncertainty was high.  I remember signing the paperwork for the adoption and struggling my hardest to stay strong. 

lgbt-adoptive-familyRight after we signed those papers, we went to Matt and Trey’s hotel room and snuggled that sweet baby girl that we just welcomed into the world.  She was barely a week old and already had some sass to her.

We all could tell in the beginning that she was going to be a spunky character.  We spent about a week with Harper, Matt and Trey.

We had many firsts with Harper that week. We watched Harper’s first MTV Music Awards at Dylan’s grandparents’ house.  We had our traditional Texas BBQ (one of the many 1st for Harper) and the whole family came to celebrate Harper and this next step in all of our lives.

That week was probably the hardest for me.  My emotions were high still with all my hormones out of whack.


Matt and Trey made their way home with Harper and I was not sure how the next few years would play out.  Our minds were racing and we did not want to lose touch with them.

That was our biggest fear. We were so scared at the possibility of not seeing or talking to them.

My and Dylan’s relationship with Matt and Trey has grown so much over the years.  When Matt and Trey said that they were just a text message or a phone call away, they literally were not kidding!

We talk to them all of the time. It is absolutely reassuring to talk to them and receive updates on Harper.

They are absolutely amazing dads and always make sure that we are in the loop with everything that goes on with Harper.


In our adoption paperwork, it was agreed upon that Matt and Trey would come to Texas once a year. So each year, we throw a big BBQ and invite the entire family to get together.  We also make sure to spend some time with just the five of us.

In 2017, Dylan and I got married and for our honeymoon we made a road trip to Tennessee to spend some time with Harper. We had so much fun with Matt, Trey and Harper.

We got to see where Harper was growing up and spent some time with her grandparents.  I cannot express how amazing our family has grown!

Matt and Trey’s families welcomed us with open arms and were so welcoming.  During this time we met one of Matt and Trey’s closest friends with their little baby boy.

Their closest friends had just gone through an open adoption and I knew exactly how everyone was feeling waiting on the paperwork to be completed.  They reminded me of Matt and Trey.

They were so sweet and adore that little boy with all of their hearts! I did steal some baby snuggles! We ended the trip heading to Pigeon Forge and going to Dollywood with Matt, Trey and Harper.

Of course, Harper and I hung out while the guys went on the big rollercoasters but we did ride a little ride that goes up and down.  Harper and I were waiting in line for this ride and she was so nervous yet so excited.

I remember her conversation she had with me that had me almost crying in the middle of Dollywood.  Harper is such a smart kiddo and so sweet.


I asked her if she was scared of the ride and she said “just a little” (showing me with her hands how much she was scared) and she looked up at me and said “Well you are not scared….cause you’re a mommy and mommy’s never get scared.”

As soon as we got onto the ride Harper started to panic and look around for Matt, Trey and Dylan.  We thought she would freak out.

Right before the ride dropped us down, I told her to put her hands up and scream.  Luckily, she did not freak out.  We got off the ride and she said it was so much fun and wanted to do it again.

We spent the next few days with them and then made our trek home to Texas.  We could not have asked for a better way to spend our honeymoon.

Over the years, we have all grown so much.  It has been emotional and amazing to watch Harper grow up these last five and a half years.


It is absolutely reassuring to receive the videos and pictures of Harper as she has grown.  We talk as much as we can with all of our busy schedules going on and we always look forward to them coming down here to visit or for us to go up there.

Our journey through open adoption has been eye opening. In the beginning, there were lots of doubts and anxiety.  As the years have passed, the doubt and anxiety has subsided and we are more than excited that Matt and Trey are wanting to expand their family.

Mercy works as police dispatcher in Abilene, Texas and is going to school for nutrition.  She and Dylan, Harper’s biological father, have been married for two years and love their little girl more than anything. 

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