Open Adoption Isn’t About “Giving Up” or “Giving Away”

This guest post is by Andrea, a birthmother.

Three years ago I was a scared, single and pregnant woman weighing my options for my baby. An hour away was a family praying for a baby to complete them.

When I met my birth daughter’s parents, I had no idea how open adoption would really affect us. I figured that her mom and I would have casual contact and go on with our lives.


Fast forward to today: Our open adoption and personal relationship is far from casual. My birth daughter’s mom has truly become my best friend.

Open adoption has brought two strangers together and combined two families into one. It’s the best feeling seeing my birth daughter interact with my grandmother and my brother.

I never imagined that open adoption would have this impact on my life until it happened.

My birth daughter’s parents put aside whatever they feel to share their child and her milestones with me because they know it is important for her to have a huge loving extended family.

I’ve even recently given my birth daughter her first haircut. Open adoption shouldn’t be, and isn’t, about loss.


My birth daughter and my brother.

It isn’t about “giving up” or “giving away” a baby. It’s about gaining love. Coming together as one big family. For the sake of the child.

Even when I feel sadness, jealously, and anger, I put it aside to remember the joy in open adoption. My birth daughter has a new extended family and so do I.

Her parents love and accept me as family. No matter what.

Andrea is a hairstylist, student (majoring in criminal justice) and pug mama. Visit her birthmom/lifestyle blog here

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