This is part of our check-in with our hopeful adoptive parents to learn more about their adoption journeys and share their thoughts about topics of interest to the adopting community.
When it comes to adopting a baby or finding a match through independent adoption, everyone seems to have an opinion—whether you’ve asked for it or not.
And while most the advice is well-meaning, not all of it is useful.
With that in mind, this week we asked our hopeful adoptive parents to share the best advice they’ve ever received.
Here are their responses.
The best advice we ever received came at the very beginning of our wonderful adoption journey, and that is to allow ourselves to simply be open. Being open, we quickly and humbly found out, encompasses quite a bit. Of course first and foremost, we discovered the joys of open adoption and now hope for a loving relationship with a birth mother. But we also took that advice to heart as we stayed open to hearing heartfelt testimonies from countless birth mothers and adoptive families, as well as being open to all kinds of books and articles that came our way. And of course our hearts were opened to all the individual and beautiful stories created through adoption. We continue to cheer on these amazing matches that come before us while patiently and excitedly waiting for the day our match takes place!
The best adoption advice we have received is that while the process may be long and emotional, never give up because the gift waiting for you at the end of the process is more precious than anything you could ever imagine. After meeting with people in our Adoption Support group and seeing and hearing so many success stories, we know the process truly works and is a beautiful act of love between birthmother and adoptive parents. We know that this is a very difficult, emotional, brave decision for the birthmother, but the bond that can be formed with the adoptive parents knowing she is placing her child in the arms of a loving home with parents who have yearned for this baby forever can create an everlasting gift of love for the child and family as a whole. We have already faced so many emotions along this journey, but continue to remain very hopeful and so thankful for the support of our family, friends, and most importantly, the people we have met along this journey who encourage us to keep going and inspire us with their stories.
Jennifer and Mike
The best adoption advice we have received was to be patient and hopeful. We have been told that this is a very long and difficult process, but the outcome will be one hundred percent worth it. So even though it has been stressful, becoming an adoptive couple is worth the wait. And staying positive through the process with an upbeat mind-set helps to get us through the journey. Other than that, we been advised to network on our own as much as possible, which has been going well for us, since we have received inquiries and potential matches with Birth Mothers.
In summer of 2019 we went “live” with our agency. Along the journey, we have received a lot of advice. The best advice we have received is “be patient and trust the process.” For some it is a short journey, for others it is much longer. However, in the end when we are holding our sweet baby girl, we know it will be worth the wait!
We’ve received so many suggestions on self matching practices, creating a profile book, attorneys vs agencies vs consultants, how to best respect a potential birth mother, how to discuss adoption with our child, and more! But the best advice hands down was just to continue living our lives and not get caught up in presenting a specific vision of ourselves or putting our lives on hold. Being ourselves and having authentic experiences will bring us to the right connection and the right time; we just have to be patient and diligent and remain hopeful.
The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still. Every child needs love so continue to pour out while you are waiting. Don’t stop living life while you’re waiting for a match. This is the time to work on yourself.
The best adoption advice that we have received is- don’t stop living your life while waiting to adopt. Plan you next trip, make your next plan, start a new project because you don’t know how long the waiting will last. If an opportunity to bring home a child arises, you will adjust and have the support of your community to step into that situation when the time comes.
Matthew and Gabriella
I would have to say that the best adoption advice that I have ever received is to be honest and open about your child’s adoption process and journey from the minute that they can understand. It is very helpful for the transition piece, and it will help them be aware and identify with how you all became a family.
Lucy